That leaflet.

Return Cameron's £9m shameful booklet to Conservative Party HQ FREEPOST 4 Matthew Parker Street, London, SW1H 9HQ. No stamp needed.

Justice

Suicide bomber died and went to heaven. He met Allah saying he was ready to claim his virgins, as promised. Out of curiosity he asked why there were so many virgins in heaven.Allah replied, "Because assholes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex, so your'e going to service them!" The bomber responded,"Well i can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity? And Allah replied, "Who said anything about women?"

ISIS yes or no?

Do our leaders in the West deliberately lie to us, or are they simply naive? Either way, they are failing us as leaders. 

Suppressing opinion

There is increasing evidence that some areas of the media are deliberately censoring postings which are likely to be uncomfortable to vested interests. This goes way beyond the usual PC nonsenses.

Ripoff

Expenses are always a racket, but we have to recognise that MPs like these two are amateurs compared to the huge ripoffs that Eurocrats commit every day of their pointless lives.

No joke

Don't even joke about such things.

Breath of fresh air

This picture carries no political message. It is not satirical. It is not bitter or grumpy. It's just a bonny lass flashing her dinties. Makes a change, doesn't it?

PS I have no idea how she will vote in the referendum. 

Definitions

Dialogue

"So, I told Tayyip, if he played his cards right, not only would I see that he receives zillions of euros in a plain brown envelope, but he could exercise his armadillo with me next time we met."

"Erm, exercise the armadillo, Angela? I'm not quite sure I understand...."

"Elle veut dire qu'il aura le droit de la baiser, n'est-ce-pas, Angela?"

"Listen, I can't understand the bitch in English or you in French. I sometimes wonder why I fucking bother!"

Integration?

This is multiculturalism, another word for the supplanting of one race by another. Does it matter? If the incomers integrate, as generations of migrants to the United States did, it's no problem. Americans of Polish or Lithuanian or Vietnamese origin remain proud of their ancestors and their culture, but they are first and foremost Americans. The same cannot be said of the people of muslim faith. That's a fact, but if you want to call me a racist or an islamophobe, I really don't give a monkey's fuck. A fact is a fact.

Confusion

Looks like the gander's goose is cooked.

Plus ca change, plus c'est autre chose

First ladies, but what a contrast! I suppose I should accept that fashions change, but, being a Grumpy Old Scrote, I don't propose to. White, elegant, sophisticated vs black, hairy and raucous. I don't like her husband either, so there.

Teacher says, get it right

I guess I am the kind of man that all left-wing and liberals detest. Which is a shame, because I would describe myself as left of centre and liberal. It's just that I also use my brain and I don't deal in slogans and unthinking attitudes.

Kneejerk

So much easier than thinking.

Double standards again

Sloganeering

Another example of mindless sloganeering

Media distortion

Whoever thought this one up is a genius. It encapsulates the bias of the media to perfection.

Heresy identified

It must be very convenient for people of a certain political persuasion to have slogans to make up for the inconvenience of rational thought and argument. It has served totalitarian regimes well, from the USSR to Nazi Germany to the nutter in North Korea. 

Plugs and sockets

I have said many times that I don't really care what people do in private, though I might think that some of the practices are distasteful (buggery, for one). But I do care when these practices become institutionalised, particularly if it's at the expense of others. I am not a homophobe, because I do not have an irrational fear of homosexuals, just as I do not have an irrational fear of spiders.
But what upsets me is that my deeply-held belief that marriage is a union of one man and one woman is now operationally illegal. If someone in public office declines to issue a marriage certificate to two  lesbians, he or she is in breach of the law: there is no room for conscientious objection. A Catholic doctor can excuse himself from performing an abortion, so where's the difference?

Diversity

Career in crime

It is no pleasure to feel that this satirical cartoon is pointing to an uncomfortable truth about the moral degeneration of people in public office, not all, not even many, but enough to be concerned. 

The problem identified

It's a caricature, but it's disturbingly close to the reality of PC-dominated thinking in our time. When did we start hating ourselves this way? Anyone and everyone is better, more honest, more moral, more deserving than we are, it seems.

The new mathematics

2 + 2 equals whatever I say it is. We brook no argument or discussion.

No dialogue any more

Curious, isn't it? There is no dialogue any more, only the hurling of slogans. This is not good. It is the path towards totalitarianism of the Stalinist or Hitlerite kind.

Wolf and sheep

What a great deal the EU has done with Turkey regarding the refugee crisis. Better folk than I have pointed out the dangers. I will content myself with posting this scary cartoon.

Une femme médecin allemande envoie ce message d’alerte au monde...

Une femme médecin allemande envoie ce message d’alerte au monde... Voici une traduction de son texte  > Hier, à l'hôpital, nous avons eu une réunion sur la façon dont la situation ici et dans les autres hôpitaux Munich est insoutenable. Cliniques ne peuvent pas gérer les situations d'urgence, de sorte qu'ils commencent à les envoyer tous aux hôpitaux. > > Beaucoup de musulmans refusent d’être traités par du personnel féminin et, nous, les femmes, refusons de nous occuper de ces spécimens, en particulier d'Afrique. Les relations entre le personnel et les migrants vont de mal en pis. Depuis le dernier week-end, les migrants qui arrivent dans les hôpitaux doivent être accompagnés par la police avec des unités K-9. > > Beaucoup de migrants ont le SIDA, la syphilis, la tuberculose et de nombreuses maladies exotiques que nous, en Europe, ne savons pas comment traiter. S’ils reçoivent une prescription à la pharmacie, ils apprennent qu'ils ont à payer comptant. Cela conduit à des réactions violentes incroyables, surtout quand il s’agit de médicaments pour les enfants. Ils abandonnent alors leurs enfants au personnel de la pharmacie avec l’injonction : "Alors, soignez-les vous-mêmes ici!" Alors, la police doit non seulement garder les cliniques et les hôpitaux, mais aussi les grandes pharmacies ! Vraiment, nous avons dit ouvertement : Où sont tous ceux qui avaient accueilli devant les caméras de télévision, avec des signes dans les gares ?! Oui, pour le moment, la frontière a été fermée, mais un million d'entre eux sont déjà ici et nous ne serons certainement jamais en mesure de nous débarrasser d'eux. Jusqu'à présent, le nombre de chômeurs en Allemagne était de 2,2 millions. Désormais, il sera d’au moins 3,5 millions. La plupart de ces gens sont complètement inaptes au travail. Une toute petite minorité d’entre eux ont un minimum d’éducation. Qui plus est, leurs femmes ne travaillent généralement pas du tout. J’estime qu’une sur dix est enceinte. Des centaines de milliers d'entre eux ont apporté les nourrissons et les petits enfants de moins de six ans, beaucoup émaciés et maltraités. Si cela continue, et que l'Allemagne ré-ouvre ses frontières, je retourne en République tchèque. Personne ne peut me garder dans cette situation, même pas le double du salaire que j’aurai là-bas. Je suis venue en Allemagne, pas en Afrique ou au Moyen-Orient. Même le professeur qui dirige notre département nous a dit combien il était triste de voir qu’une femme de ménage nettoie tous les jours pendant des années pour [seulement] 800€), puis de voir des jeunes hommes dans les couloirs qui viennent attendre avec leur main tendue, veulent tout gratuit, et quand ils ne l'obtiennent pas, ils piquent une crise. Je n’ai vraiment pas besoin de ça ! Mais je crains que si je reviens, à un certain point ce sera la même chose en République tchèque. Si les Allemands, avec leur nature ne peuvent pas gérer cela, en Tchéquie ce serait le chaos total. Personne qui n’a pas fait l’expérience d’être en contact avec eux n’a la moindre idée de leur comportement sauvage, en particulier les Musulmans venant d'Afrique, et comment ils se comportent comme étant supérieurs à notre personnel, en ce qui concerne les accommodements religieux. Pour l'instant, le personnel de l'hôpital local ne s’est pas effondré par la contamination par les maladies qu'ils ont amené ici, mais, avec tant de centaines de patients chaque jour cela est juste une question de temps. Dans un hôpital à proximité du Rhin, les migrants ont attaqué le personnel avec des couteaux après avoir amené un bébé de 8 mois au bord de la mort, qu’ils avaient traîné à travers la moitié de l'Europe pendant trois mois. L'enfant est mort en deux jours, bien qu’ayant reçu les meilleurs soins dans l'une des cliniques pédiatriques les plus réputées d’Allemagne. Le médecin a dû subir une intervention chirurgicale et deux infirmières ont été mises dans l'unité de soins intensifs. Personne n'a été puni. On interdit à la presse locale d'écrire à ce sujet, donc nous avons été informés par courriel. Que serait-il arrivé à un Allemand s’il avait poignardé un médecin et les infirmières avec un couteau? Ou s’il avait répandue sa propre urine infectée par la syphilis au visage d'une infirmière et lui avait ainsi transmis son infection ? Au minimum il irait tout droit en prison et plus tard au tribunal. Avec ces personnes - jusqu'à présent - rien n'a été fait. Et je demande donc, où sont tous ces gens qui les réceptionnent et les accueillent dans les stations de train ? Assis tranquilles à la maison, profitant de leurs subventions d’associations « à but non lucratif » ( !) et impatients de voir arriver d’autres trains [plein d’immigrés clandestins] qui leur permettront de jouer à nouveau leur rôle d’« accueillants » et récupérer leur part de fric. Si cela ne tenait qu'à moi, je voudrais rassembler tous ces « accueillants » et de les amener ici au service des urgences de notre hôpital, comme préposés. Ainsi, dans un bâtiment dévolus aux seuls immigrés clandestins, de façon à ce qu’ils puissent s’occuper d’eux, eux-mêmes, sans la police armée, sans les chiens policiers qui sont aujourd'hui dans tous les hôpitaux ici en Bavière, et sans aide médicale.

Taharrush jamai

Scene in front of Cologne Cathedral on New Year's Eve, when over a hundred women were assaulted allegedly by "immigrants".

From an article in Wikipedia:

The mass sexual assault of women in public has been documented in Egypt since 2005. Egyptian security forces and their agents were blamed for using it during political demonstrations in Tahrir Square, Cairo, as a weapon against female protesters. The behavior spread, and by 2012 sexual assault by crowds of young men was regularly seen at protests and religious festivals in Egypt.

Typically acting under the protective cover of large gatherings, assailants encircle a woman while outer rings of men deter rescuers. The attackers may pretend to be there to help, adding to the confusion. Activists have called this "circle of hell," in which women have reported being groped, stripped, beaten, bitten, penetrated with fingers and raped.

Commentators say the attacks reflect a misogynist ideology that blames women for leaving the house, seeks to terrorize them out of public life, and views sexual violence as a source of shame for the victim, not the attacker.

Difficult to believe that this practice is condoned by the imams, but you never know these days. At least one imam is reported as saying that he was not surprised that women were assaulted in Cologne. He used the "they were asking for it" argument.

Brexit? You'll regret it!

It's very difficult to be sure which way the Great British Public are swinging, but the indications are that there are more saying GET OUT than saying STAY IN.

The result is predictable: all the people and institutions that have a vested interest in continuing membership, from the Prime Minister down, are producing horror stories every day. It's "You mark my words!" time. I have lost count of the disasters promised us if we get out, but here are a few:

- the other members of the EU will turn their backs on us, stop trading with us;
- EU firms with branches in the UK  will pull out;
- the UK will still be bound by treaties and regulations even outside the EU;
- prices will go up (vague this, so supply the details yourself);
- foreign holidays will cost a lot more;
- there will be no more cheap air flights;
- dire financial consequences (not sure what);
- it will adversely affect our relationship with the USA;
- refugees currently being held in Calais will pour into the UK;


The idea is that all this scaremongering will send Joe Public scurrying to press the STAY IN button, even though his euroscepticism will remain (dislike of bureaucracy, red tape, loss of sovereignty. Most of all, he doesn't like being told to do by bloody FOREIGNERS).

But will it work? If I were D Cameron, who is clearly orchestrating this scaremongering behind the scenes, I would pause, take a deep breath and consider this: Joe Public doesn't like being manipulated by the powers-that-be, foreign or domestic. He knows when he's being bullshitted, so he's more likely to vote GET OUT just out of a sort of perverseness. Bloody-mindedness is something we ordinary Brits do well.

My penn'orth? My guess is that the EU is structurally unsound and is
doomed to disintegrate anyway, so I'd rather jump ship before it hits the fucking iceberg and takes us down with it.

Bollocks to Political Correctness

Golliwog Scandal: Police Called After Racist Costumes Spotted At Wick Gala In Scotland

Police were called after three youths attended a summer gala in Scotland dressed as golliwogs. The trio attended Saturday’s Wick Gala in Caithness, wearing brightly-coloured costumes, curly wigs and black-face.

A spokesman for Police Scotland said: “On Monday 27th July 2015, Police in Wick received a call from a member of the public seeking to raise awareness of what they deemed as possible inappropriate behaviour at a public event known as the Wick Gala. Officers have also been in contact with the charity event organisers to provide advice on guidance for future events of a similar nature.”

Donna Plowman of the  the Wick Gala Committee commented: “We strive to make the gala week entertaining and inclusive for everyone If we said to people they can't go out as famous characters such as the Jackson Five, it will be difficult to know where you stop dictating. I don't know if it will get to the point if people would have to produce a picture of what they are coming as before they take part.”

Racist costumes my arse! What a waste of police time!

Sakal kecide de var

NEWSITEM: QUOTE

The Bishop of London has praised two Tower Hamlets priests for growing beards to "reach out" to local Muslims. Richard Chartres said the men - "two of the most energetic priests in east London" - have facial hair that "would not have disgraced a Victorian sage".

"The clergy of Tower Hamlets are safe from episcopal censure, and their desire to reach out to the culture of the majority of their parishioners can only be applauded," Chartres wrote in The Church Times.

"Most of the residents [in Tower Hamlets] are Bangladeshi-Sylheti, for whom the wearing of a beard is one of the marks of a holy man."

The east London borough is 38% Muslim, the highest of any borough in England and Wales. Muslims are the largest single religious group there. Only 30% of the borough is Christian, compared with a national average of 59%.

NEWSITEM: UNQUOTE

That's it, then. I'm shaving my beard off. Sad really, when you think that I've had this beard the best part of fifty years and never once reached out to a Muslim.

PS The title of this piece is a Turkish saying: Even goats have beards.

Brave Old World

Jeremy Corbyn has suggested that the UK could retain nuclear missile submarines, but they would go to sea without their warheads. The plan appears designed to win over trade unions who fear that scrapping Trident - as the Labour leader wishes - would destroy tens of thousands of jobs in the defence industry.

He has also  suggested opening up a line of communication with Islamic State (IS) and has also called for a "sensible dialogue" with Argentina over the Falkland Islands. 

He also wants to repeal the legislation that made "sympathy strikes" and "flying pickets" illegal.

Well, that's all right then. For a minute I thought we were in trouble. 

How do you spell N-I-G-G-E-R?

Here's a funny thing: bok. Here's another funny thing: zoob. And here's another funny thing: stronzo.
The first word is Turkish, the second Arabic, and the third Italian. If you don't know these languages, nothing nasty has happened to you. If you do, then you might be quite shocked, and begin to wonder why a nice boy like me can utter such filth.
Isn't it odd that we can be mortally offended by a particular combination of phonemes? In our own language, we mostly apply the Auntie Mary Test: is it a word you would not use in front of your Auntie Mary?
It's a reasonable test, I suppose, but it does mean that our freedom of speech is determined by (in the case of my Auntie Mary) someone who is very easily offended. It amounts to a serious limitation on my freedom of expression.
All this sounds trivial, but we are living in a grundian age, where people can be banned and punished for saying things that other people don't like. When those other people are our elders and betters, the leaders of public opinion and mores  - politicians, intellectuals, teachers, etc - we are on a very slippery slope indeed.
I am in fact too old and too ugly to give a fuck any more, but I fear for the world my grandchildren are inheriting. I just hope that they give a fuck, and I am not sorry if that phrase upsets you. 

Raging against the dark

QUOTE
British MPs are debating a petition calling for Donald Trump to be banned from entering the UK. The petition has so far been signed by 574,000 people. Signatories believe Trump should be barred on the grounds of hate speech, following his calls for a ban on all Muslims entering the U.S., and his claims that London has become “so radicalised” the city’s police force are “afraid for their own lives".
UNQUOTE

The new approach to freedom of speech, as Voltaire didn't say: 

"I may disagree with what you say, and there is no way I will defend your right to say it."

The barbarians have entered the castle and the lunatics have taken over the asylum. It is a measure of the inferior intellectual and moral stature of so many of today's Members of Parliament that they can even contemplate this kind of fascistic action. The Age of Enlightenment is entering into an age of darkness, and I am very very scared. By the way, it has nothing to do with Donald Trump; it's about the politics of intolerance and bigotry.

Hello? Is that Meester Allspop?

(ring ring)
-Hello? Is that Meester Allspop?
(I can't place the accent, but I can hear the hubbub of a call centre in the background)
-Well, my dear (good attempt on my part at a Fen accent), that all depends on which Mr Allsop you want.
-The houseowner.
-Ah, well, that'll be my brother, George. Now you just hang on a moment, my dear, and I' call him.
(I hold the phone away from my ear and pretend to be shouting down the hall)
-George! George! Phone for you!
(pause, then)
-I don't know what they want. Just said they wanted to speak to you.
(another pause, then)
-No, I think it's one of your mucky women, George.....
(back to the caller)
- He's just coming, dear....

But I needn't have bothered. She's already hung up.

Explanatory leaflets

Explanatory leaflets, they are everywhere. Inside the packet of every medicine there's a folded paper, often in several languages, advising you of the horrendous side effects of everything: even toothpaste and handcream are not exempt. The bummer is that if you leave the leaflet inside the packet, it's a nightmare to put the contents back in afterwards. So, I throw the fucking leaflets away. Grrr.
Then comes the next delight: blister packs. Pills these days come embedded in a foil or plastic "blister pack", impossible to get out neatly. The result is tablets suddenly fly out from their cosy little bed and shoot all over the place. My kitchen floor contains enough stray tablets now to cure the mice in the house of every condition imaginable.
You might try to avoid these inconveniences by buying only medicines that are in bottles. Oh yeah? They all have safety caps, easily enough opened by savvy kids, but impossible for us geriatrics with our arthritic knuckles. Grrr again. Sometimes it's possible to clip a piece out of the cap to overcome the safety device, but mostly it's a matter of knocking the top off the bottle and bunging a tissue in as a stopper.
Enough to give you a headache, right? Go to the pharmacy to stock up on paracetamol and be prepared to be talked down to by some superior uniformed doxy, all tin tits and iron stare, asking personal questions about your habits, the subtext of which is to confirm her suspicion that you are a moron not to be trusted with anything stronger than a jellybaby.
Bugger it, let's forget the whole thing and have a beer. A beer?? Are you joking? Do you know what alchohol does to you???