Saturday, 19 December 2015

Jeg pense dunque ich yest'

It seems that every product you buy these days has to explain itself in every language spoken in the EU zone. And then some. There's a story that a Senator for one of the southern US states opposed the teaching of foreign languages in schools on the grounds that “if English is good enough for the Almighty, it's good enough for our children.”
I don't propose to go quite so far, but it seems to me that it would be sufficient to give product instructions in just 4-5 widely-taught languages: English, French, German, Russian and Spanish, for example.
Icelandic? No disrespect, but every Icelander learns English as school. Albanian? Estonian? Lithuanian? Hungarian? Bulgarian? Catalan? Faroese? Occitan? Where do you stop?
When I was an Expert (official designation, not my vanity) for the Council of Europe, the language problem was solved very simply: you had to be able to understand three languages and be able to express yourself in one of them: English, French, German. It was smooth and efficient. Now, I suspect, in order not to “offend” anyone, the Council - and all the other European organs - provide simultaneous translation in 23 or more languages. What a waste of time and money!
I used to run an English language school on the south coast. The Fire Advisory Office said that the instructions for using a fire extinguisher had to be posted next to the device in all the languages represented by the students in the school. That meant at least twenty languages. By the time a student found their language, they would have burned to death. Another piece of bureaucratic nonsense.

All this ranting on my part was provoked by my attempt to find out how to operate a digital readout electronic weighing machine. Eighteen different languages I think it was. Worst of all, each sentence/paragraph was translated, so you had to trawl endlessly to find your little bit at eighteen line intervals throughout the text. A complete load of bollocks, pardon my French.

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